Monday, July 21, 2008

Idea of a Hero

Seldom one comes across a story that makes something inside you feel alive. Tonight such a story made me feel that way. It felt like someone had personified Hope, Sacrifice, Wisdom, Courage, Nobility, Compassion and Ability of the epitome of what humanity will ever have to offer. Suitably, people who symbolized these in medieval times were called "Knights".

All right, I believe there are people in this world who don't have a superhero (or maybe several) that they would idolize. Not to forget plenty who haven't read their comics or watched their animation, and more recently not been much of their movie adaptation viewers either. I am not one of them, no offense. I am an apt follower of all 3 of them, and would grab hold of an opportunity with either at the first chance I get. And probably what this story so amazingly stirred inside me was the real reason why I always liked the concept of someone 'Saving the Day (or Night)'. Ofcourse, I always wanna be the Superhero doing that.

We face the so-called forces of Good and Evil everyday in our lives. From the smallest good deed to the worst crime. I also know that when we discuss perspective of Black and White, there are as many acts in shades of Gray as there are in the absolute extremes. Some crimes are heinous, some efforts divine, and there are many which will always be a matter of which way you look at it. But sometimes being so wise and realistic, isn't what you gain strength from.

We all need something to believe in, something that out conscience can treat as an example to evaluate our own actions by, something that fills the void of what's the right thing to do. Religion, Gods and Prophets are one such source of faith and belief. Other set is that of Legends. Legends that have stories told of them in epics, in folklore and nowadays in the media I mentioned before. It doesn't matter if the real story behind the hero was that of mistakes and some wrong choices. But what is left for generations to remember (and this always happens) is how loudly did his actions say what he achieved. Legends are Immortal. And for something to survive such a long span of existence, it will be made an example of.

Nowadays superheroes are portrayed more human than ever. They are portrayed with the human traits that will be expected of any human like selfishness, glorification, self-righteousness, dilemmas. But the inspiring part of this portrayal is, they never win without admitting to the fault of their ways and always work to make a better choice next time. To me that's as perfectly human any hero will ever need to get. That's what I like to believe in when I think of what I would do if I had all those extraordinary abilities that are depicted so often. That's who I like to turn to when I feel that the problem is beyond me.

Mostly always, being a Hero means making the Hard Choices. Do you give up or not? Do you let things go or not? Do you kill or not? And someones Hero, might be someones Villain. Indian mythology is filled with instances of such antagonists, who were shown to be there, just for the sake of being defeated by the protagonist, for there to be a moral to the story. But could a selfish, powerful monster, might have been a Good King to his people? Could a Thief who stole from the rich and gave to the poor, might have been the nightmare of hard earning people? Still Heroes become heroes when they are viewed beyond such perspectives. What we see as a Hero is an idea of what a Hero that person can be.

So what does a fictional Superhero do to be deemed worthy of its existence in our beliefs? He makes us remember that maybe we haven't been wrong about the beliefs handed down to us through million of years. He makes us believe that ever under the most adverse conditions, we can make the right choice and still survive to talk about it. He paints a rosy picture of idealism in our minds, that however tainted it becomes with our logic as we grow, the tint of the color will always be there.

Superheroes make us Believe that we can be More than what we expect ourselves to be.

26 comments:

Lalita Das said...

I just want to put across another thought on the subject matter.
You mentioned a hero to be someone you aspire to be or inspire from whether he is fake (legendary) or a real modern it doesn't matter, even the fact that not all aspects of the story are victorious , figuratively speaking.

Have you considered a hero, whom you just adore and love. You don't want to be like him, but just a part of his life. Why mock someone or sombody's traits? we are all individuals. The morals and values we follow do not define us, they are mere regulations or a trap made by society for us to lead a life. (Now thats another topic I could debate on) You mentioned we all need something to believe in... Its not the virtue but its that someone we need to believe in.
And then it doesn't matter what virtue or principles they are- Its complete surrender. Not for your own pleasure but his (hero's) pleasure- because ironically it will only please us and that sort of belonging and commitment ultimately makes the hero (helplessly accept us and in a way depend on our love for him, which then is his reason for the heroism)
Isn't that from where the term 'Hero worship' originated?
Am I making sense?

Sizzling Sam said...

A hero whom one adores and loves is as good as an idea of someone you want around you all the time. If you want to be part of his/her life what would one aim at accomplishing? Become like him/her or just gain their appreciation or plain company? In case of latter two goals, that would not be a hero. That'd be an Object of you affection.

"Hero Worship"... it's an action as a result of what you believe in. If you do find a hero in your life, it's one's own choices that determine whether he's following that idea blindly or determined to become greater.
Hero is more clearly defined by the picture we have in our own head. And pictures can be as flawed as they can be perfect. What's a virtue today can be a sin tomorrow and vice-versa. If one mocks or imitates the actions or traits of his/her idea of a hero, one will always encounter a situation which would have no precedent. At some point you can't be your hero because it is your life not the hero's. Most real heroes go ignored, forgotten or meet tragic ends.
You are right! We are all individuals and we have our own individual paths to follow through the course of our life. We all treat our hero(es) the way we want to. Some worship them, some remain practical keeping them at one of the reference points of idealism.

To choose a hero is for your own pleasure, for you to make you feel good about yourself that probably you are closer to becoming like your hero when you act like one. One chooses a hero when their virtues and principles are already in place. And when one chooses a hero, it's like setting a reference for your actions.
The idea of hero is in our mind. It is supposed to evolve as we do. Idea of a perfect hero is exactly that... an Idea... immortal.

So what we mean by "Hero Worship"... when we believe that a person is actually an embodiment of that idea of a Hero, and we praise and look up to him as an ideal. One stops being a Hero, when he starts believing himself to be one.

LD said...

I beg to differ but I see your point. I just realized that what I was trying to convey is probably on a seperate platform (since you mentioned God and prophets) I had a specific thing in my mind for faith and belief and hero worship. Actually that is why your post caught my attention.
I'll get back to you with my thought once I can clearly put it in words for you. I understand what you were refering to was mostly general especially related to comic heroes and super heroes.
Anyway thanks for a prompt reply that too at 4.40 in the morning!
Dark Night was an interesting master piece however did you realize that the true protagonist was The Joker who actually won in the end (with his belief that there is no true hero).

I also read your story and was unclear on the main point of the protagonist. Throughout you have potrayed a regret in his mind that he is wasting his most valuable asset which I assume is time, which in turn is ofcourse his life but you never mentioned what it is that he would be rather doing.
Plus in the end it sort of changes the whole impression that everything that was important was actually his love for her, which again makes no sense because if it was that important it never figured in the story...
I hope you don't mind my comments, I have recently joined a publishing house and well surfing blogs is both hobby and part of my assignement.
I'll definitely get back with my previous arguement though.

Sizzling Sam said...

I have no doubt that the idea you have in your mind about faith and hero worship is different what I was thinking here. How we develop an idea of hero in our head and how we act on it are two related but separate segments of idealization.

About the story, it wasn't meant to be a balanced story. In every line, I have given importance to the thought and fact that came into light when it gained importance. I hope you can gain more insight into my perspective (acceptably not the perfect one), when you understand the protagonist was as close to a real person in real life. Most of us never realize what we ought to be doing in our present, even though we constantly have this feeling that somehow we are just following set paths and wasting our time. The protagonist is anything but a hero. I mentioned that he is a simple minded, cliched and average guy. As flawed as they come. The main portrayal of the relationship was from 'her' perspective. She had been looking forward to it for some time, and I have not delved into the part of her life leading her up to that. In the end, I couldn't think of a better side of story to tell than of someone who has been looking forward to meeting the protagonist than someone who feels most intensely about him.
I am glad you read my blog so thoroughly; more so both as a personal and professional choice.
Write whatever and whenever you like. I will be as prompt as I can be.

LD said...

You know that is what I was getting to the idea that maybe he is not sure of what he wants and is in search of something that most of us are all our lives. Infact its applicable to me too. And I think I have found it and this time for sure because...well ok I got a little excited. I dont mean to preach just yet. I just find it very interesting to find someone who shares the same thoughts. I mean not exactly the same, because personally I found your story too cliched and well shrewedly 'Filmy' as I'd put it for my taste. And am still not agreeing with your hero worship term. Maybe am not good at expressing as most writers are. You know the right choice of words.

But on a professional note it would have been better if you had worked more on his character and well maybe introduced a her angle a little more intense in the begining because it didn't seem that she was that upset leaving him either to be so eager to meet him later. While his casual attitude towards love just being something of a basic need where in he finds himself a substitute and wants to keep it as casual as possible was a nice touch and would have made a good contrast had you put her feelings more strong. Or well you could have said that seperation was his suggestion which she had no choice but to accept. Anyway if that whole angle wasn't there it would still have made a better story, sort of realistic wherein an average man really believe's he is living big dreams and personally feels that he slogs like hell and yet doesn't know why he is not happy or satisfied as he hoped for...milestone after milestone and well then oneday death is another unexpected milestone.
I especially like your title, although could suggest other alternatives.
Please again I am only giving honest comments and suggestions. Btw who basically is your target audience, I mean is there any particular you keep in mind while writing?
Oh by the way your latest post seemed ??? Do you have any other blogs? or something that you have founf interesting and follow regularly. Am more interested in philosophical and well more spiritual ones. Not religious or ritualistic. Any suggestions?

Sizzling Sam said...

Lol... I totally agree the story is too cliched and "filmy" as you put it. But sometimes I just like to tell a story in the most old fashioned way :) It's like the Chinese's habit of almost making every love story a tragedy.

I don't think I am a writer yet. Not a good one atleast. I find myself like anyone at a loss of suitable words. Keep wishing I had a big vocabulary at my disposal for appropriate words. Would make expression so compact in that case. As for Hero Worship, you can think about what you actually feel and write it without reference to my post. Then we can debate where our curves cross.

Your suggestion about the story are all very good. I didn't write it thinking of anything but to vent out some memories. That's why I still need to smoothen out the edges in my story telling. My target audience is anyone and everyone. Honestly for now, I have been writing for no one else but myself. There are so many things between lines that I wouldn't expect any general reader to understand. What kind of audiences does one usually target?

Latest post is as I mentioned for a friend, going through a tough time. Sort of like words of wisdom for ready reference whenever the blog is browsed through. I haven't gone into any other blog writing as yet. Nor have I searched for other blogs that would interest me. If you could suggest whatever you come across, it would be amazing.

ld said...

Oh so that story was a part of you? Well I don't know about the chinese tragedy really but yeah I just remembered a Japanese novel 'Memoirs of Geisha' Spielberg has done complete justice to it. What I like are the words used in the movie, I read the novel to find them but couldn't. I'll quote them to you if I can find them. Beautifully written and thats when the protagonist thought that she lost her love. But though a real tragedy and sad movie in the end she finds her love...:-) Call me an eternal romantic but thats beautiful and I personally believe in it. Have you seen the movie? I am such a movie buff. Yet I tagged yr work as filmy. Well thats because Indian cinema is not as brilliant as Hollywood, well not always.
Speaking of romance what I wanted to mention was if you wanted to make it a love story, it was nowhere close to it. I mean for it to be a good love story the reader has to feel the love.

You know again coming to Hero worship, Shouldnt it be a true hero for everyone. I mean hey for me my dog can be a hero, he rescues me from cockroaches etc. Thats just a silly example, but a hero has to be everyone's hero, something like noone can deny, I mean ppl can deny anything they want to, but you know with proof,
Something like God.
Do you believe in God? Or Re-birth?

You know the best part about writing to you is that you are dynamic with your responses.
So have you written something else?
Well answer to your question can be put in many ways and convuluted. But trade secret is that good writers appeal to anyone and everyone. But then there are some who target youth, some shitty ones like that Chetan Bhagat(I hope you aren't a fan) who just write to sell, I classify him in the Bhatt (Mahesh Bhatt-sex selling) category. I mean he writes any crap that would appeal to mass, I guess its mainly to sell, but even thats not bad, but he is just too tacky. I am Sorry I wrote so strongly against him but well I had my first assignment proof reading his latest book which I have no taste for. I like classic stuff-if they are stories or novels, else I like to read-its a different category. What kind of books you like?

Ok last post for the day am signing off the virtual world. Sometimes it feels like I am not connected to reality, but then again is the life we live really a reality.

PS- I just realised I didnt really answer yr question on type of audience but I will soon. Hey I didn't understand "There are so many things between lines that I wouldn't expect any general reader to understand. " ? I am short of time.

Sizzling Sam said...

It's surprising that you mention Chetan Bhagat. I just read his latest book, "The 3 Big Mistakes of my Life" yesterday. I definitely agree all his works till now have been written or collected to make them sell. I don't actually despise him, actually in a part I think he's showing what IIM-A guys are made in a brilliant way in a field yet left unexplored by entrepreneurs. But yes, you are right. He does write to sell and well it does. There is a major population who finds such short and artificially realistic appealing, and well honestly I wouldn't mind passing time on a short travel reading such a book. It's like sometimes you'd just go for a Mahesh Bhatt movie because you don't have much of an option.

I have seen Memoirs of a Geisha. I found that movie very well made (hats off to Spielberg after a long time) but there was just too much of a tragedy for me in it. But it was nowhere near close to how bad the movie "Water" made me feel. I actually felt violated and angry because what happens with the protagonist, portrayed by Lisa Ray. Have you seen it? Well you are talking to a fellow movie buff here. And a BIG one. I do believe Indian cinema works to sell like any other cinema. Not to forget I do find some nice movies with original concepts once in a blue moon. But then again they're working to make money. And we cater to a mix of cultures here, who have songs, cliches, drama and generations old story lines so programmed into their minds that even I find it sometimes hard to break free from the brainwash.

No, I wasn't trying to make my story even a bit romantic. It was all about confusion of youth. It had elements- some true, some wishful- from my own years some time back and at that time self-realization was something that I so much wished for but couldn't achieve. In fact, even though a die-hard romantic, I now know love is a four-letter word; Life is much bigger.

I like fiction most. Anything that tells a story. Be it inspiring, sci-fi, fantasy, romance, biographical or otherwise, it should be a story well told-be it classic or modern. Although yes, some classics for me will always be unsurpassable. In the other genre, I like to read books on ancient mythology, legends, explorations; and these are the types that I have read least on. And that does remind me, tell me the words you liked from Memoirs of Geisha when you identify them.

When I said there are so many things between lines I meant there are words that just hint towards reminding me and me alone of what I meant. Otherwise they are lost in the flow for anyone else who is reading. That's why I said, for many things like this story, I end up writing for myself because the background hasn't been built up for anyone else to appreciate the feeling expressed at that time. That's why I haven't been able to think of a target audience yet. I haven't written anything till now(I Think!!) with anybody else but me in my mind when I write. Probably I should try my hand at that too.

For anybody, it's their own choice who they choose as their hero. But the hero I am talking about, is who nobody can deny is the personification of virtues held strong. That's why I say they can never be real. Because no one can hold strong to virtues without inclining to some sort of self-gratification. Even following the virtues so strongly is a form of self-gratification in itself. I mean you do a good deed, because it does make you feel good about yourself. If one does a virtue, because they must, it can't be followed life long. One will not be able to survive, such is the flow of life in this world.
Yes, I do believe in God. But not like idols and one Big Universal being. I believe it's something even bigger. Something that is a collective of everything that ever exists, existed and will exist. Something that has it's form in all kinds of energy and matter. God is here within us, around us, and Bigger than most of us can ever imagine. And well I definitely do believe in re-birth. It's a strong concept of my beliefs and most of them are pretty firm, for now at least. :)

ld said...

"At the temple, there is a poem called "Loss" carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read Loss, only feel it."

"The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves. Until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains. "- Memoirs of Geisha

Its an Irony that I had remembered this clearly yet felt something was missing. I guess it was the pain and expression the director captured so brilliantly. Especially her eyes...they actually made the writers book come alive.
Actually the whole worse is
"The heart dies, a slow death,
shedding each hope like leaves...

... until one day there are
none. No hopes. Nothing remains.

She paints her face to hide her
face. Her eyes like deep water.

It is not for Geisha to
want. It is not for Geisha to feel.

Geisha is an artist
of the floating world.

She dances. She sings. She entertains you,whatever
you want. The rest is shadows. The rest is secret."

I can understand Sayuri's turmoil and the path she chose. She didn't have control on things yet her devotion was commendable. You know when she loses her misuage (I guess the most important thing to any women) this is her explanation to self.
"In that instant I
felt the world shift...

But not my own determination

I made a secret promise.

Along with his picture, I would lock away my heart, and save it for him."

But if the Chairman (The man she loved) was as much in love with her what was his excuse of putting her through all that, knowing every moment how she felt. That was just cruel.

And then the concluding narration only makes it more sad.
"You cannot say to the sun “more
sun,” or to the rain “less rain.”

To a man Geisha can only be half a wife.

We are the wives of
nightfall. And yet to learn of kindness…

… after so much unkindness. To understand that
a little girl with more courage than she knew,

would find that her prayers were
answered. Can that not be called happiness?

After all, these are not the memoirs
of an empress, nor of a queen…

… these are memoirs of another kind."

When I read this again it reminded me of a part in your story where your protagonist is saying he is just an average man and so the actions are justified, just as she accepts this as fate and justifies since she is only a geisha.

I sometimes like to analyse characters, many a times relate to them. You dont have to if you found this conversation boring. My main point was to just post the words here. You know every writer writes for someone other than himself, unless ofcourse its a personal diary. The only reason why they say its for me is because he can only hope that the reader understands exactly what he meant in that mind frame when he wrote to make his writing a success. Which is ideally in most cases when the reader is the writer himself. I guess that is what you meant when you said 'reading between the lines'.

No I havent seen water. Maybe someday. You know its funny you mentioned self-realisation...it just personified the pain I had been holding back since yesterday. You won't understand, obviously since you dont know what I mean. Its just that I have a lot on my mind lately. And you know the irony is...:-) One seems to write their best when they are going through some real strong emotions. But I guess I can't just limit it to emotions, there are some strong actions to be taken...

I have been yabbering so much. Its just sometimes you just want to talk to a stranger rather than someone you know. It clears head and helps rationalizing.

Sizzling Sam said...

Putting yourself in another's shoes, especially in a story, is what makes you fall in love with any kind of story-telling. And in painful and closer-to-reality descriptions like those in the story of Sayuri, makes an apt reader actually wonder why did everything happen the way it did when everyone could make different choices. We forget to realize that the character chosen to be the protagonist is the only one we realize the feelings of. Their deepest feelings, their most selfish desires... the other characters are just not described so fully. We see them through the perspective of the protagonist alone.

In reality, the people make choices sometimes out of just plain practical reasons, atleast that is what they believe. The worse (and probably the hardest for some) decision they ever make is related to guiding someone else's life in a certain direction. But they do it. Because that is the best choice that can be made at that time.

I guess I secretly do hope for someone to understand the exact feelings hidden in the words I write. Probably enjoy it like a game of hide and seek. I am sure you played it when you were young. Enjoyed it?

I don't know about the pain that you are inflicted with, nor do I know of the cause. But in the emotional flood that one gets ravaged by in such a time of turmoil, the only element of you to survive as yourself is hope. If you lose hope, you lose yourself. The person that comes out then without hope, is a cold remnant of the person he/she used to be.
All one can hope when one acts in such situations is, that things will only get better. Tougher may be, but better.

You mentioned last time that whether we actually live in a reality. We do. We just have to learn to accept it. Because many a times we hope that the reality is the setup in which we are most happy in. But reality is actually is realizing the world around us as it is. How we can sense it with our present abilities. It is full of so much beauty, and so much filth, that one can not hope to be happy without enjoying their own sadness along.

You can yabber all you want, although I won't term it as yabbering. I'm here to listen. And I promise to remain a stranger... for now :)

raving ld said...

Well see what I meant when it comes to talking to strangers they give you a different unbiased perspective.
You seem to be pretty practical and level headed one, me am more passionate and ardent. Even in real life I guess I make decisions which are driven by emotions and not practically, funny thing was it all used to balance out and work out even in difficult times.

Even today when I am facing repercussions (I guess just the beginning of them) I do not regret my decision and well for some reason am not able to accept them or believe its happening. It just doesn't seem rationale. Its like I am in denial. As for my action well am just desperately looking for the next flight to...what I think would be the appropriate destination.
You are right I have not lost hope not yet atleast but I guess once I accept what is happening or acknowledge my loss I will be exactly shedding leaves of hopw. I already am.All of this was so sudden. I believed in Karma, I have been reading about it, do you believe in fate? I do. Whats gonna happen will happen, yet I dont want to accept it.

You know I read what you said about seeing only the protagonist's perspective. You explained it very nicely. But well doesn't it backfire your argument claiming sometimes we need to :"The worse (and probably the hardest for some) decision they ever make is related to guiding someone else's life in a certain direction. But they do it. Because that is the best choice that can be made at that time." Then have you actually seen the other person's perspective? Or its just selfish gain and to cover that an explanation for self. Ofcourse everyone makes some decisions which have an impact (sometimes life altering) on others but then they are always for self benefits. I have made them am not proud. I have been ruthless to some very close ones all for my selfish gain and I guess thats where Karma is working its game. Its all hitting at once. But atleast even if those ruthless decisions made were not easy for me and quite painful, I made a choice for what I wanted. Not for them- the people I hurt, Though maybe they are better off without a selfish person like me.

Sigh, Right now I am helpless, frustrated and full of thoughts and memories, fear and excitement, pain and denial.

You said love is a four letter word, but life is bigger, Maybe its true but its a very big part of my life.if its just a word or an activity then so is life without it. There is nothing to life if there is no one to share with- Parents, siblings, friends, life partner, children, maybe grand children. Its on the basis of these relations we build our lives. Don't you agree. Even in your story it reflects, he was aching to be back with his friends, with whom he connected and felt alive. Is that not love?
Its a different story that he used a lover more out of need. Hey in one of these blogs I had read a very interesting narration on relationships. It actually gave perspectives of many characters. Have you read Ayn Rand, even though she has a clear protagonist, she builds her characters beautifully explaining their perspectives in quite detail. And well even though she tends to make them complete black and white and a little greyish, you seem to relate to many characters at different stages of ones own life. Atlas Shrugged really exemplifies the same. Though I dont agree much with the story line its a good read.

Have you noticed no matter how disheartened or upset one is they never tend to change or supress their true nature. Like I am still discussing primarily books and writing with you. I guess thats an escape. An escape from reality. I envy schizophrenics at times. They aren't really insane. Why is it so important for us to acknowledge society or people who aren't even that important to us, and give up on things important for their approval.

Most of the so-called practical decisions are made for the approval or appeal of such people. Its Paulo Cohelo who appeals to me, with his stories, even though they start with practical, general dull life, they always have a magical, spiritual ring to it. Its just different. Have you read any of his works. I guess they give hope, which we seem to loose, but then again I don't like them from that point of view, because even though I try to deny reality, I feel the worse situation is when you need hope from fiction. Which is why I didn't like you concept of super-hero in the first place.

You know most bloggers are so erratic in their entries, some write good stuff but written years ago and forgotten. And here you are who is not blogging as much as conversing on comment posts.

I guess this is creating another blog on it own. :-)I guess its a good distraction. But I am still focussed on what awaits tomorrow. I am about to embark upon something scary, more scarier than certain steps I have taken in life. There are only uncertainties...And I am praying God gives me the strength and courage,but again the irony is it ultimately is a fight against him (God). This time literally not figuratively put (as against his will or fate.)

Sizzling Sam said...

I strongly believe in Karma. Along with that I also believe that we can not in our normal state of consciousness comprehend the account of karma that we carry at present. It should be more than a reason for acceptance of things happening to us. Karma is something so simple, yet so profound, that understanding its intricacies is, what I believe, a very important part of enlightenment.
So you can never know what you did to others was a result of the previous karma or it happened as a new action. And for that reason there is no point in kicking yourself over and over for the tough, and maybe hurting to others, decisions in life. Karma says, that if you need to be paid back, you will be, sooner or later. That's the whole point of not looking back when you make a choice.

I am not sure I am that practical and level headed, because there are times when I am definitely at the emotionally impulsive end and fired up with passion about things that it is almost kiddish, even to my own realization. But what I can tell you is, even if you feel you make decisions based on your emotions, you shouldn't fret about it. Many a times logic doesn't take you anywhere. It's the inner voice that combined with emotions that leads down the path we want to pursue. As you said, it works out. Probably what you are facing right now, might be painful at present, but you will look back at it some day and be glad that you did what you did and why you did it.

What happens will always happen. That is something I suggest you accept. Take your time, of course, but accept you will have to. Because one has to move on. You can not stand still and not expect to be taken down by the flow. Because everything around us moves on. So everything within us should also. And it's good that you know you are in denial. Because well it is the first step. You know something has happened. You just don't want to accept it. But you deep down also know you will have to eventually accept it.
I don't believe in fate. What I believe in is that some things are fixed, while some you can change. Otherwise there was no purpose of us having free-will. And I do believe every living thing has it, the choice of free-will.

People make the choices in life, primarily for their own benefits, tangible or intangible. And definitely, you make a choice, because you have to make it. At that time if you feel that this might be better for the other person (according to your perspective of them) you take the decision. But mainly, you just assure yourself that the other's best interest was at your heart. And sometimes you take the decision for others, which doesn't affect you at all, completely with a good intention, with keeping all the best interests in mind at that point of time, but it might not turn out the way you expected it to. That's life. Life expects you to deal with it.

We all make decisions that we aren't proud of. But we still make them. I have made quite a few myself. And I still do everyday. But you just can't help being yourself. You can just hope, that you don't make a stupid mistake in some critical decision in life. Even if you do, eventually it comes to bite you back. So one can only hope that his/her carefulness was enough for the decision to be made correctly. If it wasn't, you pick yourself up from the rubble, and aim to do better next time.

And for all the mistakes made, I am sure you're not that bad a person to hang around, if you are killing yourself over such decisions made selfishly. Ofcourse I can't say for other people, depending on how they feel about you themselves. So frankly, you should stay close or away from people as you feel about them. Let them try to be close or away from you as they feel about you. Then the stronger feeling will win.

The 4 letter Love meant the Romantic kind love that is popular. I ain't that cold that I would suggest life is anything meaningful without having people close to you and sharing your love and affection with them. If anything I have come to believe that family and close friends are something so strong and so blissful, that if you have a good loving one, you are really lucky. Life is everything when you have anyone to share it with. Have you seen "Castaway"? In that if anything, the movie shows how desperately a lonely soul seeks out for some companionship. And it is surprising, but Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged happens to be my fav. book ever. I totally agree that the story line is a bit melodramatic, but the way the characters are portrayed and the depiction of their feelings, it's nothing short of breathtaking for me. Many of the people I meet who've read anything by Ayn Rand, have Fountainhead as their favourite. And I have read it too. But Atlas Shrugged still stirs something much stronger in me than Fountainhead. To prevent from sounding repetitive, I would easily say, that whatever you mentioned about Atlas Shrugged was absolutely, undoubtedly correct.

Sometimes people do try to suppress their nature. But those are the ones who really believe that they need to change themselves completely for a better life, as in running away from themselves. But actually, you can never be anything but who you are. You can improve yourself, a bit or a lot, but there are some core traits that never change. That is what has helped us distinguish ourselves from others around us for our lives. We shouldn't even expect to change them.

Society is hypothetical concept. The closest thing I have ever felt is personification of a society is a mob. And a mob has no soul, no values and no rules. For anyone to try to be accepted by society is trying to fight a battle that you have already lost. For what is society to us but ourselves. As I have mentioned in my article for my friend, "They weren't in your shoes, so don't let them get under your skin". I have had my years spent in trying to please people to be accepted. And when I stopped it and gladly became what I wanted to be, was the time when I WAS accepted by the so-called society. If you ask me, Society is a Zoo. You try to fit in, the more you stand out. When you stand out confidently as you are, you fit in as an added attraction.

I have read most of the works of Paulo Coelho. I think I am left with just 2- Veronica Decides to die and I sat across some river and cried. For me they are again a retreat into the world that the author intricately weaves in the story. But I get out of the afterglow of the story within one night's sleep. And that is because the stories even though sound so inspiring, seem to be by the end so out of the world. They are like the lessons of moral science we had in our schools. They are so motivating, but at the same time, can we please get real?!!

One can look for hope anywhere. What matters is that you find it. When you look at hope from fiction, that means you are out of situations in reality to look forward to. With that fiction-ignited hope you move forward into the unknown to see where it leads you. Because frankly, in the world we currently live in, Bad News stays in the air for much longer than Good News. And the media make pretty good use of this fundamental concept of the screwed up psychology of the 'society' we live in.

I don't know what fight you begin today. And I don't know how long it's gonna lost. I am glad you are ready to fight, that too against God's will or fate. It might be scarier than anything you have ever faced in life, but then also know probably this fight is then more important than anything ever you've had to fight for until now. So I wish you all the best and hope that whatever the outcome is, you get what's best for you. God will definitely listen to your prayers, I am sure. Even if you are embarking on a road to face His will. Why would he/she do that? Well because it's God, ain't it?

This blogger will always be here to converse with :)

ld said...

You know you contradict yourself. At one point you say there is no point in looking back once you have made a choice. Then again you say that inner voice makes you look back and act accordingly.

Anyway the words you said about Karma reminds me so strongly of someone very close to me. But you know the rest about making choices and not looking back I disagree with. You yourself mentioned things are flowing around us and we need to cope with that instead of just standing around. Thats right we have two choices, either be courageous and flow against the current, if luck is with you , you might survive that. Or swim along the current till a safe point and reach the banks. In both ways you just dont let the flow get to you or things around you. Can u swim? Its the best experience close to tranquility. I guess every bengali has in its blood to swim, across river, lakes, I have never tried the sea though.It clears head, tires you, and then comes the sweet sleep (dreamless)...Ok I have distracted from the topic.

About free will. We have free will I agree but very limited. You don't really have much of a choice and really speaking the only free will one has of the choice of people whom you love and associate with. Rest nature plays its role and combined with Karma and laws life is defined.

Romantic love: Well the popular one is more of an infatuation or a drive for sex. But thats not for everybody. True love let me put it appropriately would be 'conjugal love' And I think thats the highest form of love in this universe. When a man and woman accept themselves as husband and wife then its not just romance, its much much more. And I very STRONGLY believe in it and give it importance over any other relationship. Even parents, siblings, children and friends. Its more personal. Because everything involved, every action is personal, its not bound by duties, societies, Its also the most personal expression.
I guess either you have never been in love or what you might have experienced must be the popular infatuation. Which is why I guess your story also gave least importance to that love. No offence I personally thought it insulted that love. But then its ones personal opinion and as we discussed freewill. You know the beautiful thing about this conjugal love is , it might not be related to the love marriage concept, even in arranged it is the same. I guess I am not able to express or word it exactly what I want to explain to you but for some reason right now I am on a quest to make you believe in this. I guess its related to my fight, i begin today.
I have seen Cate away more than 5 times, its one of my fav movies and I am a big Tom Hanks fan, but I would say the most favorite would be Forrest Gump. And in both the movies let me point it out to you that what really keeps him alive is that conjugal love. Its not wilson the ball. And in both the movies if you think in the end in a way that Love triumphs. It exists even though it seems like a loss. And to a loving heart thats enough. You really dont need to be 24 hours together for believing you are in love. Seperation is sweet part of it. It makes the heart grow fonder...:-) I was just quoting on a light note but seriously think profoundly and let me know your thoughts on this.

I agree what you said about Paulo Cohelo books, Veronika decides to die is a good one, it has a sweet humor to it. It makes you think of life. I have read the other one too but dont really remember what emotions it evoked in me. Zahir seemed to be a very honest narration. I have to still read Brida.

Another thing I strongly disagree with you is that certain core traits can't be changed. I have experienced this personally in me and others around me too. No body can pretend for that long trust me and when change is such a common and inevitable thing why not traits. Besides I disagree that traits or ones nature defines ones soul or distinguishes him/her from someone else. We are all individuals , God has made us distinct, even two people with same habits and nature are miles apart. I agree one cant and shouldn't force one to change someone. Although at times it becomes necessary to reason with that person about certain things for everyone's peace. You know when we are born we are not born with this nature or trait (even though u might put in an arguement of genetic inheritence) but yet each baby is different still. And when one knowingly or unknowingly changes those traits, thinking it will improve them or make better their life, Its not running away from themselves. It seemed like a rather cynical thought to me.
You know I am not much of an optimist, more towards pessimist yet I still don't agree with you on that thought.
Hope: Well it exists, I accept but I am not gonna rely much on it, I never have in retrospect.
And yes we do look back, the very fact you have to mention don't look back means you are still contemplating the past.
You know yesterday I was so ...erratic. Today I have some peace, even though the pain exists. I have determination. I am sitting at the Airport with all the money I had saved and am off to embark a journey to save...again I guess myself (selfish I know)
Thanks for your best wishes, you are quite courteous :-) but one thing I picked from you yesterday and I guess most of us miss during our turmoil is to see and understand others perspective. I'll try that too.
You know since I was upset yesterday I re-read your article for your friend in distress. No offence I found it well frankly put- Crap. :-) You might wanna try some personal approach and touch to your writing than bookish words. As I said a personal touch to anything makes thing much better. Which is why we do the things important to us personally and not delegate.
I hope I have not offended you, because you have been anything but nice and polite to me. But I just can't miss a chance to let go a good arguement. And you seem to be so good at defending yourself. :-)
Now that is a trait- but do you really believe I can't honestly change it?
You know about society and norms I have mode on to what I can put as a different platform. I was postponing it but now I guess along with my fight begins some soul searching and spiritual journey too. I have started a blog on same. I'll give you the link of my account, once I am comfortable and actually have something to say.

Sizzling Sam said...

You know I was re-reading everything I had written today morning just before breakfast, and somehow I knew you were not going to agree that one makes a choice and never looks back. I agree one does, but probably to contemplate it. Not fret over it.

But I will never agree that we have a limited free-will. At every choice we make, we have choices. We just choose the ones that are most appropriate for our survival and since we are presented with not so many favourable options, one tends to believe it is limited free will. When you mentioned the flow of current, you forgot the option to drown in the flow. That's exactly what would be letting go of free will. Even if you swim with the current you are actually exercising your choice aren't you? You are SWIMMING! Along or Against the current, but you chose to swim. By the way I do know swimming. And I love it too. Unfortunately I am not in the vicinity of any good pools here. And well I have swimmed in the sea. Honestly. it's not that good an experience in the noon time and the salty water does things to your skin that I don't even want to start on right now.

Yes I did mean the Romantic love, as probably starting from infatuation and later developing a drive for sex. But Later on, it becomes an understanding developed between people. You accept your partner's misgivings as gladly (or maybe not) as his/her good qualities. You form a bond of sharing a life time of experience. That is not the romance that love-stories are written about. That is a life that 2 people decide to spend together making each other as happy as they can. The feelings they have for each other is a big Set of which Romance could be probably called a sub-set. But I don't agree that even those feelings always supercede the strong feelings you have for others viz. parents, children, siblings or even friends. And they don't have to. Every relation has its own place in one's life and when the partners accept it and still decide to stay happy together, then only your "conjugal love" concept actually comes to picture i.e. upon acceptance. And trust me it is very very rare that both of the partners in that relationship end up not having regrets of what they gave up in their life at some point to hold strong to that relationship. Is that feeling of regret a part of true love as you put it? Then it doesn't sound so true to me.
Yes, probably I gave least importance to love in my story because I believe it doesn't deserve all the importance in life. And going by what I understand from your words till now, you believe that Love is everything in life. That's something I have understood from my own personal experience. Probably it's everyone to his/her own interpretation of what they go through in life.

Please don't even make me begin on the romantic concepts especially dumped into the movie media. I don't think there is Brand that ever sold more popularly than the idea of romance. Not even Santa Claus. And the people who end up surviving or coming out fed by love, are only disappointed by when they face the hard facts ahead in life.
But yes, I will agree on one thing. This feeling of love has also been the strongest motivator a human mind could ever get. It makes people achieve things even they don't think they will be able to. It's a juggernautical force. But I have not seen it's true face. I don't think anyone has yet.

Core traits can't be changed. I am not talking about pretending to be something you are not or not acting the way you are. I am talking about who you are, inside. Are you selfish, strong willed, value life... traits like the ones that you can't change even if you want to. Because the entire foundation of your being is built of traits that are rooted deep into you. No they are not so hard coded as in the time of birth (but believe me I can type out another blog on simplicity of Genetical Inheritance), as they become deep rooted in our sub-conscious by our everyday exposure. Why do you think we have all these kinds of manias and phobias? Ofcourse some are overcome, but many are still not.

I don't know what you are going after right now sitting at the airport "with all your savings ????", but I can only guess it is either someone you love (please don't get into the nitty grittes as to how can I use that term so normally when I don't believe in it) or something you really really desire. And I hope you know what you are doing. And well when you are in distress, you need someone to be courteous :). When you are being stupid, you need someone who doesn't pull any punches. And frankly, you can argue with me all you want. I have always thought of Bengalis as very intellectual people. And till now you haven't disappointed me at all. Besides the question is not whether you can change that trait, the question is whether you would be still you after changing that trait? ;)

I can't say much about how I feel about you embarking on this rescue mission, honestly because I don't know what you are rescuing and from what. But I hope whatever happens, happens for your best; and pray it's a choice that you will gladly favor.

Don't worry. I know what I wrote was a pretty bookish summary. But it was a reminder for my friend. For everything that had passed between us (not a part of this online world), to be reminded whenever those words are read. Sort of like a flash card thing. But if you meant that my writing overall does require a more personal touch, I will definitely keep that in my mind for times ahead.

Bon Voyage'!!

ld said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ld said...

You know I just realised after posting it that I actually told you my personal story in guise of saying general things. My intentione was for to use it as an example to ecplain. You know you seem quite stubborn on your views. Pretty dogmatic. I am/was the same. I guess still am but well its silly for me to say but its better to have an open view. I realised that too in this trip. It was mostly spiritual. And initially though I was hurt but then later accepted and was fine with is, you can not always know everything or every facet of a person, sometimes you are not aware of all your facets yourself. Like there is so much I didn't know about the love of my life either...:-) But its always fun finding it out.
Well once you answer my previous post. Request you to delete it.

Sizzling Sam said...

I am sorry you lost your grandfather. I know what that loss means, manifold actually, but I also know sooner or later you have to move on.
I will reply to your post in utmost detail but give me some time. I have begun to realize something... well about me being a jerk many a times... and trying to change that. So will write a reply to you soon but right now, I really hope your feeling of loss slowly stops hurting that much.
Have deleted your last comment from blog as you requested.

Sizzling Sam said...

I will start with a confession. I am right now in no position to say anything about love. When I thought I knew something very true about it and had experienced it, I realized I didn't know it at all. So probably my defense does sound very firm, because I only have that to go on. My idea of Love might change with time, and it might not. It will only depend on what I come across in life.

I have never known how to deal with death. I've faced it more often than I wish I had, and of people who were at the heart of my life. And I guess the only way I go on is keeping them with me. And it is actually funny, that one usually remembers all the good things about them. I guess there is a lesson to be learnt there, which we keep on forgetting. In the end, your legacy, the way you are remembered, is what matters when you are gone.
I hope whatever change you go through, you are happier because of it. Change is inevitable. Everything has to change, that's what life is. There are no constants, not forever.

Your story is yours. The fact that you do believe it to have not ended, states how unique it is. Destiny is what we make of it. Some parts of our life might be destined, I don't know about that, but the rest is what we make of it. And we never know what we are signing up for, when we deal with our own life. Too many factors and we understand too little about the ways of the world. We move on, by accepting it. We can call it destiny, chance, fate or anything else, but the fact remains that we always have to move on.

Well I never intended to be dogmatic. And yes, I guess I am stubborn as a person. :) But I guess I do hold what I believe in pretty strongly to my heart, as long as it doesn't need to be changed. And when it does, or what I call "crossing of threshold", I start working on changing it.

For now I only believe purpose of life is to Live. I have been brought up believing in cycle of birth till one attains Nirvana or Moksha. And I have been educated in sciences believing that we are are a result of some chemical reactions and evolution. So believing and trying to find a common path in all the currently-disjoint sets of beliefs, I keep on believing in the fact, that whatever the case, I am meant to live the life I want to, the way I like to, and the way I can. And that is the purpose of my life presently too. That'd be the philosophical answer.
On a personal level, the purpose of my life is to complete what I have left unfinished, fulfil whatever wishes I can, achieve, learn... live. Right now, I can only think of things I want to do in life and how to arrange for resources to do them. So the purpose of life, I guess can be explained by a hand of poker. You play with the cards that you are dealt with, because you can never know what all cards everyone else is holding. Not in this game. Not until the bets unfold.


Do you believe in living things having a soul? What do you think the soul is made of or what is it?

ld said...

You know its strange, but I really look forward to your replies. Somehow they are a part of the transition I am going through. In our discussions often I find a reflection of me, my thoughts and experiences in your words.

It is really serendipitous, but lately I have been asking the same questions. About soul, purpose of life, Liberation. And I feel that I have found the right source. I thought you were a Christian, with your name Sam. But now that you mentioned your beliefs on recycling of birth and Nirvana, I believe you are an Hindu.
You know I have never been religious. But yes spiritual, I think maybe.

About love, I just realised, that maybe I reacted too strongly, I myself am not aware frankly, now as I contemplate our discussions so far, I am confused and well from what I have been reading so far it seems something I have not even touched. Do you think there are two kinds of love? Material and spiritual?

I am really sorry for your losses too. Somehow I can say I know how you must have felt.I mean this must be the first death I have faced when conscious in family. I can't imagine loosing more than one, my heart reaches out for you. Especially for loosing your partner, I mean seperation is one thing but death is horrid.

About my story, now I feel embarrassed about it, I mean first for just blurting it out to you and second well from my point of view towards it. Anyway lets not discuss that.
About destiny again, I will talk once I form my firm view on it.

Coming to purpose of life, well your answer that it is to live, seems sort of a disinterested dejection, its like when one is in a jail, they do their time. And if you believe in rebirth, than what's the point of coming here taking birth again and again and live it off. You get what I am trying to say? Then if you say to fulfil our desires...well, I know it sounds too philosophical but have you ever felt satiated or fulfilled in life. The only thing I can think of that gives me true satisfaction is water, when it quenches my thirst. But then again that too is momentary, I feel thristy again and again later. But isn't that the case with everything else, is there no permanent satisfaction. I mean you know earlier I said I liked your topic of milestones, Isn't that what our life is, we set milestones, that we will achieve this and when we do, then its another, we always believe that once this happens we will be happy, only to find thats not the case and then we run after something else.
I mean I know this but then I am still disillusioned and believe that once I settle down I'll be happy, but then maybe after that I'll seek something else. You know they talk about 'maya' Any views on maya?

Talking about soul, yes I believe living beings have soul, I mean even though science claims that we are just chemical reactions, do you believe its that big a co-incidence that life just occurs merely because of some random reactions and mix? I mean really such complex life? It is not just co-incidence, or the big bang theory. You know in my early college life, I used to be fascinated about all these theories. But now I find myself questioning their base. It seems like a pure work of fiction, a figment of someone's imagination, strongly marketed. What I believe in today is that there is a creator for everything. I mean someone has created the table and chair I sit on, this computer I work on, then why not this world or universe I live in. Do you agree? And that I believe, creator is God.
But the question is why has he created all this. What is the purpose?
As for some proof on existence of soul, what we call our consciousness, I mean we always say my hand, my nose... so ofcourse we distinguish from this body. We never say I hand, so whom does this hand belong to? Soul.
Then again when you see a dead body. I mean the difference between the body before death and after, the face, the eyes they definitly loose something. Dead eyes are the proof, I have seen it believe me, something is lost, the life is lost. Isn't that soul? Otherwise why can't our scientists master the chemical reactions and bring them back?
You know the so-called modern science (trust me I was a strong advocate earlier being a science student myself) but now I feel that everything they know, or we know as science is based on unknown facts. I mean when your starting is unknown and you can only hope to shape the end, but then again here they are proving things, making theories and stating laws, that I believe should be based on something more concrete. And the only thing that makes sense is mere observation. Like gravitation.

What soul is made of, is a good question, and I was so surprised because not long ago I was asking the same. Which is why I got excited to express myself. I'll definitely let you know once I find out. Frankly I don't want to speculate on it. Otherwise I would be no different from modern scientists and philosophers. And the solution for this, I guess is refering to vadas. What do you think? I want some authority and they seem like it. Ofcourse the ultimate authority would be God himself.
You know people have their own definition's of God. I feel thats sort of silly, since how can we have own deifnitions rather than true facts. I mean if as I mention there is a creator, then he has some features and facts about him, just like I and you do. I mean different people can't have varied definitions of me. I am what I am, I look this particular way, I have these defined 'core traits' ;-)I mean yeah people can wish that I am like this, they might wonder, like I might imagine you are a certain way, and that you look a certain way, but then that would again be only speculation and not the truth. Because you have a true form. Am I getting confusing?
So far I have read that soul is same in quality as the paramatma, infact we are a part of it. You know like in the big bang theory, all planets are broken parts, similarly we are but then again the difference is that yet paramatma is a whole, unlike us. He is complete while we are dependent. Well If am sounding too boring let me know, besides I don't want to put it all here at once, besides am still reading and trying to understand. As I said I want to put forth the facts and not my personal speculation. (Which I more often can't help but do) I guess thats a trait of a writer. :)
I just realised that I spent my whole lunch in typing, but then you know for some reason, I have lost the desire to eat these days. And I am a complete foodie.

Hey since I asked you about purpose of life, let me tell you what I think it is. At this point maybe self realisation, or liberation. Actually frankly personally, my purpose of life seems to be to discover my purpose (Like Lakshya movie).

Hey here is an idea- Let me know if you agree, why don't we create a joint blog on this conversation and invite other like minded to discuss. It might bring in some new perspectives and make it more interesting. (i.e if you still find this conversation interesting, since I have noticed your replies getting shorter. Do let me know frankly)

Lastly I was curious, what did you realise you were being a jerk about? Was it something I pointed out?

Sizzling Sam said...

I am not getting disinterested at all in our conversation. :) Don't worry about that. And well I like the joint blog idea, but in the end it would be more like a forum rather than a blog. I think it would be great, but you will have to invite the like minded people. I find them absent in the circle of my acquaintence.

Well I guess I know about Christianity and Hinduism both. Have always been interested in what all beliefs, mythologies and legends every religion has. And yet, I am still not any of the both. I am a Jain. And I do believe in my religion. Atleast the original version of it, that started it. Not the current skewed versions. Anyway that's a whole another topic if we ever come to discussing it.

I have lost people I loved in my family. But I haven't lost my partner. Actually haven't had an official one yet, but the one who was sure to become, I left. It seemed like dying and being reborn again. And that is why my beliefs of love are filled with uncertainity. I don't think you can define love as material and spiritual. It's plain love. One thing I know for sure is love is one of the driving forces of life, but it is not the only one. What you are suggesting as material and spiritual love, I believe are differentiated by how enlightened one is about the aspects of love.

I was pleasantly surprised when you wrote to me regarding my blog post. I didn't think anyone would ever read that. Or atleast write back to me about it. And I really admire you putting your ideas out here. Makes me rethink on my own. And that is something I like. That is what helps one grow. The good part is the ideas that come out. And as long as we are having a conversation, I think we'll both have a way to share the transitions that we are going through. I am going through one of my own, and I am being a jerk in not doing a good job at taking care of all the things I should, in the way I should. And it has nothing to do with social cliches, but has everything to do with me becoming a better man, one I am capable of becoming, but sometimes find myself too easily distracted and lose focus.

I wasn't dejected when I said Life's purpose is to live. It'd sound that way if you look at it from one perspective. But from my perspective it's something concrete we have in our hands right now, which we can enjoy or do whatever we want with it. Nothing is more truer than the moments we live our life. And I find satisfaction whenever I am able to live it as I want. Ofcourse there will never be a permanent satisfaction, because as long we keep finding the satisfaction in the milestones, they will always be reached. But the lesson of life is elsewhere. The path still leads on, after every milestone. When one realizes that the true satisfaction is to be found in the journey on the path of life, you'll have found that peace within. That is what is I meant Life is to Live. The real fun is in traveling the road leading to the destination, not the destination itself. I guess that is what is the illusion of "maya". You keep on seeking something, you always had within you. You just weren't looking at it the way you should have. Once one truly realizes that from the depths of his soul, "disillusionment" starts.

Yes I belive in everything having a soul to. Everything that is around us is filled with life force. But I am not sure about the creator part of it. Because then who created the creator? And if the creator just came into being, then probably so did we. Sometimes I actually think that we are part of a grand scheme but that scheme is currently beyond my comprehension. And as far as science goes, I think it is at an infant stage if it wishes to comprehend all the facts and functioning of this universe. And holding an open view towards it is the only way to learn new things everyday. As kids we all know that. As we grow into 'adults', we tend to forget the obvious rules.

If there is a God, I don't think he will have a form that any of us imagines. Because if he/she is God, it'll be God of everything. And that means everything will be a part of it-our soul, our form. And that will hold true for all other life forms as well, millions(figuratively speaking) of which are still undiscovered. And yes, I believe our soul is formed of something which holds the secret of the eternal being. And that is what makes my belief so strong, that when we achieve nirvana, our soul - the "I" that is always so important to us - will really be enlightened and become truly glorious.

You are a foodie too huh? :) Sometimes I just feel these days that I want to have something but don't know what it is. And I don't think one should skip meals when they are hungry. Although yes, sometimes hunger actually makes you realize how important every bite of food is. Infact, I guess that's why it's said that you only realize true value of the things present in your life is when you are about to lose them or many a times, lost them already.

ld said...

I have created a blog at www.adipurusam.blogspot.com. Its after my dadu's name... I'll need your email id to share it with you as an author.

Just came from lunch...Hey being a jain you are bereft from so many tasty delights in life. I just had fish curry and rice. I love it. Luckily our mess makes non-veg on Fridays. So which is your fav dish? You know my dadu was a pure veg, even though he was a bengali. He didn't even have onions and garlic. I can't imagine taste without them.

Well I have to work now, so will make it a quick one. I am not sure I understood your idea by living life, I mean I lost the meaning between discovering peace in the path and satisfaction, when satisfaction can only be a destination right? Lets discuss this in detail later. Also About the creator, as stated in our vedas the creator is eternal, he was never created, he is never born in the past, present or future, he exists. Wait I'll get the exact verse and quote from it. It will make more sense then.

About your partner, I am sorry I misunderstood. I am not sure if you are happy with the decision of leaving or upset, since you mentioned dying and then again reborn. Besides I don't know your reasons...I mean it might have been difficult maybe but since you made it, I guess it was worth it. Don't worry about your confusion. If the relationship failed then maybe it was not love in the first place. Just infatuation. It happens all the time. I have seen many of my friends go through break-ups and then again in a few months/weeks/days they meet someone new. But honestly I don't think its love. Its merely sharing time or ideas I guess and ofcourse the sexual drive. :-). Hey , I don't mean to offend, I mean I really don't know what you been through, I am just saying a general case. Friends laugh it off in a few months. Guess thats good because then the pain is gone.
I am not even sure if you want to discuss it, but if you do am here with my never ending theories.
I can't imagine not being in love...I mean I have been in a relationship for almost three years. We knew each other a year before. I think three years is a long time for it to last as infatuation right? Sometimes I feel stupid giving advise to others as if I am the authority with a 3 yr relationship.
Actually the reason is my friend is goin through a divorce, and I might have irritated him with my gyan. I just wanted to lighten his mood. His wife cheated on him. Isn't that shocking, I mean I guess not but I still find it since well you hear, read but it has never happened to anyone I have known or been close to recently. And his was a love marriage! And then again I was thinking which one among us has faced a greater grief, me losing my dadu, or his divorce.
But then again its stupid to compare right? I try to keep a light mood yet, you know the pain of loss get unbearable at times...
Ok so if you feel comfortable post your email so I can invite you.
I have many others wondering about the purpose of life. It seems like it will make an interesting forum.

Sizzling Sam said...

I don't mind sharing my mail id... it's sambhav.jain.83@gmail.com. And I guess I might be bereft from some of the tasty delights of life, but well I am glad I did get to choose to become a vegetarian. Besides I doubt very seriously if I'd enjoy tasting a part of an animal. My fav. dish would be plain yellow daal. :)

About the creator one can have all their ideas and speculations. None is a concrete one. That's why it's everyone to their own beliefs. The scriptures might have ancient wisdom, but then there are so many variants. The only common element, and which is very easily neglected, is all forms of ancient beliefs at their core call their followers to be tolerant towards what is different.

Don't worry about my partner, actually I won't call her that anymore. And well I had a pretty long relationship, and it was way past infatuation, but it was not the form of love I was looking for, or probably the price of it. Call me cold, but the only regret I have is I put so much time into it. I don't know the entire story of your friend, but I hope he is able to deal with the pain of the betrayal of his wife. It would kill him more, the more he love(d) her. I think it's good you trying to cheer him up. At times like these, one needs good friends around. Even if some stupid ones try to shoo them away. I don't think I would ever be able to handle my partner cheating on me. Would make me the worst version of myself.

You seem to be in a better mood than before, so I hope you are doing better in handling all the things going on and that have happened. I'd immerse myself in workload if nothing to get over things and frankly, it worked like a charm. What's your anaesthesia?

You do the inaugral post on the joint blog. Hope to get it soon.

ld said...

Plain yellow dal? You seem to be a pretty homly guy. I hope you atleast like a good tadka in it.
But you know home food is always the best. I miss it...not just the food but home. Its just different being home with family. Even though most of the times you can't tolerate each other, yet it is comforting being home.

I beg to differ from your statement that no idea of creator is a concrete one. Yes we can refer to scriptures but what we need is the original meaning, it is the translation from various sources that is varied. I am sure the scriptures aren't. Truth never has versions. Its simple truth. I don't know if in Jainism you have the concept of a spiritual master. Well even in hinduism (me being one) I never came across, but lately I read and heard that to realise the ultimate truth, one needs to have a spiritual master. A bonafide guru, who has been an integral part of an authentic parampara succession. Who can be trusted and does not seculate but impart True knowledge as it is.
Let me know what you think of it.

Well about love and your past, I don't know the details but if you regret and feel that you wasted your time, then stop feeling that and don't waste any further time. I don't exactly know what price you had to pay for it. (though I was curious) but then again for anything that we enjoy or choose for that matter, we pay a price. I can say I have paid a price too for my love. And so far no I have no regrets. (fortunately). I am sure you'll find the kind of love you seek in future but remmeber you'll still have to pay some price for it. Actually don't look at it from that point of view. About my friend, well he has become cynical about everything in life. But I guess what he needs is time, time is the best healer. Rest sharing the pain also helps I guess. But he is moody, sometimes he would open up, but you know for someone to cheat on a partner, I guess the relationship was already over, which probed them to look somewhere else. Don't you think? Its not the act that spoiled the relationship, the act was just an expression to convey its over. A harsh one though, but then there is never an easy way to breakup is there? The key is trust, that has to be strong. Am in a long distance relationship, many say its not easy or possible, but I don't think so. We trust each other. Its only the time spent physically we miss. You know talking , taking long walks, even arguing, or just sharing time sitting together... I will never regret those times I know. :-)

Well I wouldn't call it my anaesthesia, (its not something I want to escape or drug) But I sketch and even paint if I have the tools. Its more of a release and clears thoughts. You know sketching is just like doodling, really and it can be very soothing and calming, even fun is cartooning, although am not too good with my caricatures. But painting is like lettling yourself footloose, its my meditation. Otherwise I generally take refuge in reading or movies or even cartoons or comic strips. It works wonders but momentary, so you may call that escape as my anaesthesia. But painting would be a cure. It was a gift I got from my dadu. :-).

You know I keep telling everyone around to move on from their pains, even my family to move on, but this I guess I just don't want to move on. Its too many wonderful memories, that even the pain is sweet in a way. Do you understand what I mean?

The inaugral on the blog... well am waiting for someone who inspired these thoughts in me to make the first move. He is busy for the time being but soon. Meanwhile if you want to go ahead...you are most welcome.

ld said...

Hi,

You aren't contributing to the new blog. Do you find it boring or changed your mind?

Sizzling Sam said...

Hey... Sorry... but I haven't been able to come online these past days. And too much in my head to put down when I do. Will definitely post once I finish with stuff going on, but it might take time as in 1-2 months. Won't be able to contribute something honest and introspective till I am done with the matters at hand. So till then, I hope you guys still allow me to be a part of this later.

ld said...

You kidding? I want many many people of different countries, religions to be a part of this. I just thought maybe you lost interest. Join in whenever you want. There will be some interesting developments soon, I hope. Take care, lately I have been real busy with work too, suddenly too many writers have popped up and I have to scan through their work. Never thought reading can be this dull. I hope everything is fine with you, I hate to ask the dreaded but was anyone you knew in the bomb blast at Delhi?